bunch of mid day ramblings

WOW, Christmas eve? are you serious? how did i get here? my babies are no longer babies, our new house is completely broken in, i cant keep up on laundry.... oh and lets not forget my mother just turned 60 and my grandma refuses to take care of herself. So I'm dealing with my mom who thinks she is ugly and her life is over??? then my gma who needs me to do for her all the things I have to do for my 3 year olds. i am not complaining, just a little venting.
Santa is coming tonight and bringing two new bikes and a bunch of princess stuff. hopefully santa is bringing me an engagement ring and a new coffee maker :)
speaking of engagement ring...so i have been thinking (that cant be good). Why do I have to get married? I love mike but i dont feel like a wedding is right for us. i always dreamed of it being very romantic but mike and i are like the couple that have been together for 70 years and barely talk. it is also a little scary that it will make us legally tied to one another. i just dont want to do it because it is what we are suppose to do, i want to do it because i want to. so far, i just dont want to :( it makes everything financially 100% different for us and i have always just like having my own money. so many changes, one that i really want is the last name. i dont like having a different last name from my children. I thought about this before i ever got prego that if i had a child it would have my last name. things didnt happen that way though. tradition says that the babes get the fathers last name and in the long run i thought it would make things easier. it has been fine so far but when the girls start school it will be a little different. i just don't know. i do prefer my children have all the same father, if we are married when i have another child we will have to pay a ton of hospital bills. if we are not married then the state will take care of it.....what a world?!
mike, bless his heart, wants us to be financial set for our retirement and i agree. this means that everything we pay for, we pay in cash. our wedding, cars, vacations, etc. we need a million things for our home and we both have different ideas for what is a priority. I want new bedroom furniture and he wants new lazy boys. he is such a man, we need new living room furniture and he wants to get everything in black because it would match the tv???? he needs to step back and let me decorate....hmmm better get back to getting ready for xmas :)