The Balance

The weekend I found out I was pregnant started on Friday when I was looking out of the ordinarily skinny, I put on a cute skirt, halter top and sandals and headed over to mike's place. it was april still but i was warm enough to go with barely nothing on. We had nothing to do so we just went to the Dollar to drink (half off nite). I vividly remember most of the night and had a blast. On the ride home I knew I was wasted. I passed out as soon as we got to mike's. The next day we went to a Lugnuts game and I met Brandon, and that night Tracy and I went out for a drink and went home early cuz i just felt more "grown up" than all the people out drinking. I had seen Krystal that night and she told me I looked like I didnt feel well. I told her I did feel a little tired. The next morning was Easter and then the next day I was set to start my period. At Easter dinner Rachel told me I looked different and really skinny. (Its funny how the two people in the world who couldnt wait till I was pregnant could see before I did.) That night after I left mike's i got home and just for the heck of it took a pregnancy test. I called Krystal and she said she thought so the night before. It was late but Brianna was up with Krys and it just makes me laugh to remember her over hearing krys talking and being so excited. stinker!

I had a trash can under my night stand and I threw the test in there cuz I didnt want anyone to find it. Almost every hour on the hour I woke up that night and pulled it out of the trash to make sure I read it right. That morning I went to planned parenthood to make sure it was right. They did the test and in less than a minute confirmed. I then went and bought the pregnancy bible "What to expect when you are expecting". Around the afternoon I found it in me to call my mom and tell her. Being a chicken I asked her to tell my dad. Neither one of them was upset, thank the Lord. So quickly in 24 hours I went from party girl to soon to be mother. I tried to embrace the mommy part as much as possible but still be cool. Its not easy with a belly for all to see. It was like a big letter A on my chest saying "Yes I have sex". Not until recently have I realized I dont have to let go of the Woman I was before motherhood. So thats where I am in life trying to find that balance.